Life’s Landmarks

2011 was a landmark year for our family. Our son Joel was joined in marriage to Rachel Olson, a beautiful, godly woman and launched a church plant in Whittier called Whittier Hills Baptist Church Uptown, where Joel is co-pastoring. Our oldest daughter, Brenna, began college in Washington State at Moody Bible Institute and our youngest daughter felt the call of God to pursue her education at a Christian college/university; perhaps leading into a call in ministry.

Sometimes our landmark moments are happy and joyous ones such as these. Sometimes they are sad ones, such as the passing of my father and a dear cousin two years ago; or empowering ones such as when the Lord brings you through a difficult trial or test. But I find with each landmark moment, the Lord gives me new glimpses into Himself and He shows me new facets of His grace and lovingkindness. Remembering how the Lord has cared for me during these times gives me strength and courage for today and the future.

There is a precious story in the Old Testament where God used a landmark to infuse courage and purpose into one of his godly leaders who had a unique trait. He was left-handed. The book of Judges Chapter 3 tells the story of Ehud and his unique characteristic was considered an exceptional asset in those days. He was from the tribe of Benjamin and many of the tribe of Benjamin were left-handed (Jdg 20:16-see note Judges 20:16) and perhaps even ambidextrous (1Chr 12:2) making them highly specialized troops.

At this point in Israel’s history we find Israel being disobedient to the Lord so He allows King Eglon of Moab to take control of them. The Jews cry out to God for deliverance and He appoints Ehud as judge and “rescuer to save them.” (Judges 3:15). The Israelites must pay tribute money to King Eglon and so Ehud is sent to deliver the money and kill the King. Ehud makes a double-edged dagger about a foot long and hides it in his right thigh, knowing that the king’s bodyguards would be searching the left side of the king’s visitors. Everything goes according to plan but Ehud loses his nerve and leaves the palace discouraged and defeated.

On his way home, Ehud passes what Judges calls “the stone idols near Gilgal”. These stone idols were actually an historical landmark for Israel. They were the 12 stones that God had instructed Joshua to be brought out of the dry riverbed of the Jordan River after the Israelites had crossed into the Promised Land. (Joshua 4). The stones were to be a reminder of God’s covenant with Israel a sign of his lovingkindness (his covenant love) and “stand as a memorial among the people forever”. (Joshua 4:7) But the Jews had forgotten about God’s covenant with them and had forgotten about the memorial. Over time the memorial had been reduced to a pile of stones that travelers passed by with no notice. But on this day, Ehud notices them. And he remembers. He remembers God’s covenant with Israel. He remembers that the land has been promised to them. He remembers his calling and the purpose for which he was sent. He goes back and asks to see the king, telling him he has a secret message for him. The king ushers him in and Ehud does something for God that no right-handed man could do. He kills the Moabite king, graphically described in Judges 3:22-23.

God used Joshua’s landmark to remind Ehud of his purpose. God use landmarks in our lives as well. We all have those landmark moments when God rescues us or empowers us with His Spirit to fulfill a unique calling. As you look back over 2011 and look forward to a New Year, remember your landmark moments. Remember that God had called you, empowered you, and gifted you for His purpose. Don’t let your landmarks become a pile of stones but keep them as memorial and testimony to the power of God in your life.

A New Year’s Prayer

Prayer is essential to the Christian life. Our life with God begins with prayer; a prayer of as we reach out to the God who has been pursuing us. Indeed that first prayer we utter to God to save us is the most  important prayer of our lives as sinners.  Once we  become born again followers of Jesus, what should we pray for?  How should we pray for  others?

Certainly we know the importance of prayer for it is our communication to God. Prayer is the means that we  communicate to Him and more importantly how He communicates to us.  We pray as individuals and as a church. We gather for intentional prayer meetings. Yet we often struggle with what to pray. Our prayers for us and fellow believers tend to be for concrete, tangible requests such as physical healings, broken relationships restored,  financial issues solved, a job, cars, and a home.  Praying for these concerns is needful but are they the most important things we can pray for?  What would God want for us? What is His greatest desire for us? In the book of Ephesians, the apostle Paul gives us by example the most important prayer request for ourselves and others.

The city of Ephesus was the seacoast city in Asia, and was one of Asia’s great religious, political, and  commercial centers. The famous temple of Artemis, one of the seven wonders of the ancient world, was situated in Ephesus. It was a religiously and cultural diverse city, and one of the main industries in Ephesus was the business of idol worship and  prostitution.  When the gospel first came to the city of Ephesus it brought great change in    people’s lives. Paul lived and taught in that great city for three years, establishing the church there during that time.

As Paul writes his famous letter to the church at Ephesus he is in prison in Rome. He writes to the “dear saints” there as he is concerned for their spiritual condition. They have had to overcome many cultural and  religious constraints in order to follow Christ. They have suffered persecution for their faith in Jesus and some have lost their businesses and  livelihood. They must still live and raise their families in a culture fraught with cult  worship and  demonic activity.  It is in this environment that Paul writes  his prayer for the Ephesians and for us.

“ I always remember you in my prayers,asking the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, to give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you will know him better.” Ephesians 1:17-18

Paul does not pray for relieve of suffering, nor financial gain, healing of sicknesses, nor even for peace; but he does pray that we might KNOW GOD. Paul knew that knowing God was the key to the abundant life Jesus spoke of. The term “to know” in this verse implies an intimate personal relationship, one that comes from experience.  Why did Paul feel that this was important above all else?

Knowing God leads to holiness. To know God as he is, is to love him as he is and to want to be like him. Knowing God leads to a confidence in our faith. Knowing that God is sovereign brings us peace about our future. Knowing that God is loving and full of grace gives us confidence to come to him when we sin, knowing we will be forgiven. Knowing that God’s Spirit goes before us in preparing the hearts of others gives us boldness is sharing the gospel message. Knowing that God has a plan and a purpose for our lives, and an eternal home for us gives us hope and comfort in our suffering.  Knowing God gives us strength as individuals and as a church helps us to stand strong in the face of adversity. “The people who know their God shall stand firm and take action” (Dan. 11:32).

Jeremiah wrote, “This is what the Lord says: Don’t let the wise boast in their wisdom, or the powerful boast in their power, or the rich boast in their riches. But those who wish to boast should boast in this alone that they truly know me and understand that I am the Lord. “Jeremiah 9:23-24

The New Year is often a time of new beginnings. Why not begin this New Year with the most important prayer for yourself and for those you love;

May the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, give you a spirit of wisdom and revelation so that you will know him better.

Have Yourself a Mary Little Christmas

Luke 1:46 And Mary said: “My soul exalts the Lord, And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior. “For He has had regard for the humble state of His bond slave; For behold, from this time on all generations will count me blessed. “For the Mighty One has done great things for me; And holy is His name.” AND HIS MERCY IS UPON GENERATION AFTER GENERATION TOWARD THOSE WHO FEAR HIM. “He has done mighty deeds with His arm; He has scattered those who were proud in the thoughts of their heart. “He has brought down rulers from their thrones, and has exalted those who were humble. “HE HAS FILLED THE HUNGRY WITH GOOD THINGS; and sent away the rich empty-handed.” He has given help to Israel His servant, in remembrance of His mercy, As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and his descendants forever.”

Christmas time, more than any other time of year, should be a time for worship. One of the most magnificent passages of praise and worship is found in Luke chapter 1. In this chapter, the angel Gabriel visits Mary following his appearance to Zechariah. He tells her that she has been chosen to be the mother of Jesus who would be great and called the Son of the Most High. What’s more he would be given the throne of his father David and would reign over the house of Jacob forever in a kingdom that would never end. When Mary asks, “How will this be?” Gabriel reveals that it would be because the Holy Spirit would make it so; the son the virgin would bear would be the Son of God. Mary showed great humility and piety in her response, “I am the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said.”

Mary embarks on a three-day journey to visit her cousin Elizabeth. She traveled eighty to one hundred miles from Nazareth to the hill country of Judah. Mary enters the home and greets Elizabeth. At the sound of Mary’s voice, Elizabeth’s baby, John the Baptist, leaps in his mother’s womb. Filled with the Holy Spirit, Elizabeth immediately knows that Mary is carrying the Christ-child, God’s son. Elizabeth rejoices that God would find her worthy and honor her with a visit from the mother of the Lord. She is amazed at God’s involvement in her life.

Meanwhile, Mary is unable contain her joy! She worships God in song expressing her praise to him for what he has done to her and what he would do for believing Israel as well as all those who fear him.

This song of praise is called the Magnificat. Found in Luke 1:46-55, it is a beautiful, magnificent song of praise and worship to the Mighty God. Mary knew she was blessed. Not because of anything she had done, but because of what God had done. She says in verse 48, generations to generations will count her blessed because of her son and His greatness. Eugene Peterson’s The Message, Mary praises God saying,
“I’m the most fortunate woman on earth! What God has done for me will never be forgotten.”

How easy it is for us, even at Christmas time, to forget what God has done for us. Our live are hurried and hectic and we rarely take the time to praise God for who He is.

Psalm 95:1-7 says Oh come, let us sing to the LORD! Let us shout joyfully to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving; Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms. For the LORD is the great God, And the great King above all gods. In His hand are the deep places of the earth; The heights of the hills are His also.
The sea is His, for He made it; And His hands formed the dry land. Oh come, let us worship and bow down; Let us kneel before the LORD our Maker. For He is our God, And we are the people of His pasture, And the sheep of His hand.”

This is the essence of true worship. We worship God for who He is and what He has done for us.
….His mercy flows in wave after wave on those who are in awe before him. …He embraced his chosen child, Israel; he remembered and piled on the mercies, piled them high.” Luke 1:50, 54 The Message

When we consider God’s mercy of our lives, how it flows in on us wave after wave; how God piles it on high; we too should be like Mary, unable to contain our joy and be filled with worship and praise to Mighty God.  May w say as Mary did so many years ago, “My Soul Magnifies the Lord.”

God’s Amazing Gift

The incarnation—a miracle of God planned from the beginning of time. God knew His creation, man, whom He had lovingly sculptured in His own image, would fall. But God loves man and so He made a way to redeem him. Man’s spiritual death would be redeemed by a birth- the birth of God Himself to a lowly, young woman. The incorruptible God entered the world through a corruptible woman.
He could have come as a man, fully grown, ready to start His ministry. But God chose instead to leave His heavenly world, spend 9 months in the body of a woman, make the arduous, messy journey out of the woman’s womb, through the birth canal and into a sinful world. He took the form of a newborn baby, the most helpless of all humans, and at that moment in time, hope entered the world and His name was Jesus. He chose as His vehicle a young Jewish girl, Mary, called “highly favored one” by an angel who visits her. She was, as T.S. Eliot says, “the place of impossible union where past and future are conquered and reconciled in incarnation.” Mary is the one constant is Jesus’ life. She brought Him into the world and watched as death took Him from this world. This “most favored woman” does not question God but presented herself as God’s servant and said “let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38) Her faith was simple yet deep. Perhaps she remembered the many Old Testament scriptures that prophesied the Messiah’s birth. God had been in fact preparing the world for His arrival since before the world was created. The entire Old Testament is the story of a special preparation.

“Therefore the Lord himself will give you a sign: The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and will call him Immanuel.” Isaiah 7:9 2

“But you, Bethlehem Ephrathah, though you are small among the clans of Judah, out of you will come for me one who will be ruler over Israel, whose origins are from of old, from ancient times.” Micah 5:2

“The days are coming, declares the Lord, when I will raise up to David a righteous Branch, a King who will reign wisely and do what is just and right in the land.” Jeremiah 23:5

The miracle of the incarnation made possible the miracle of salvation. We marvel at how God, the creator of the universe, could become man. Yet we should also marvel at how God could love us so much that He would leave His heavenly throne to become like us. The miracle of Christmas is not just that “the word became flesh and dwelt among us” but that God chose to love us at all. The ancient scholar Irenaeus wrote, “The word of God, Jesus Christ, on account of his great love for mankind, became what we are in order to make us what he is himself.”

Take time this Christmas season to ponder, wonder, contemplate and reflect on this great love!
“See what an incredible quality of love the Father has given, shown, bestowed on, us, that we should be permitted to be named and called and counted the children of God! And so we are!”
I John 3:1 (Amplified Bible).

Window Shopping

I love living on the Westside of Paso Robles. With the renovation of the downtown area, Paso has been able to keep the small town atmosphere alive and well on the Westside. This is a great time of the year to stroll along the streets of downtown. The shopkeepers are all busy decorating their store fronts for the holidays. I love window shopping at the furniture and decorator stores. The displays of their living areas are warm and inviting. The rooms are always accessorized perfectly. There is never anything out of place. As I gaze longing into the windows, I imagine myself sitting on one of the cozy sofas with a cup of coffee and having a long chat with a dear friend.

It is entertaining to imagine living in that perfect room in the window, but reality soon creeps in. I live on the other side of the window in a world where life is not perfect, where my living room is not accessorized perfectly. Dirty cups reside on the table and stray socks hide under the sofa.

So it is with our spiritual lives. My heart longs to live in a perfect world with a perfect family, perfect friends, and a perfect church. I desire to be a perfect wife, mother and friend. But I am a sinner living in a world marred by sin where perfection is an illusion. I am thankful that my family and friends love me enough to forgive me of my sin and imperfections. I am thankful that my Heavenly Father uses this imperfect world to refine me and smooth out my rough edges. I am thankful that Jesus challenges me to live out the Sermon on the Mount, causing me to struggle with the same questions; “who is my neighbor; how many times must I forgive; what does it mean to be light to the world?”

My heart also longs for God. David cried out in Psalm 63, “My soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.” David could not quench his thirst for God. Often I try to fill my hunger for God with other things, other enticements, but they never satisfy. They are only temporary distractions. Perhaps our longing for God is not meant to be satisfied until we reach heaven. The prophet Isaiah said in Isaiah 26:8, “Yes, Lord, walking in the way of your laws, we wait for you; your name and renown are the desire of our hearts. My soul yearns for you in the night; in the morning my spirit longs for you.”

C.S. Lewis said in his book, The Weight of Glory

“At present we are on the outside of the world, the wrong side of the door. We discern the freshness and purity of morning, but they do not make us fresh and pure. We cannot mingle with the splendors we see. But all the leaves of the New Testament are rustling with the rumor that it will not always be so. Some day, God willing, we shall get in.”

We are on the outside of the world, strangers in a strange land. But it will not also be so. Jesus promised the disciples and us in John 14 that someday we would dwell with Him in our Father’s house. I long for the day when I shall get IN, when I can mingle with the splendor. When that day arrives, I will no longer be on the outside of the window looking in. I will be sitting on a cozy sofa having a long chat with a Dear Friend.

Home for the Holidays

There is something about Christmas that always causes me to remember the Christmases of my childhood. It was a special time of year for my  family, especially us six kids. We did not have a lot of money growing up so we really only got presents at birthdays and at Christmastime. We did get new clothes when school started but the “newness” of those things was long gone by December.  When I was very young we did not get our Christmas tree until Christmas Eve. We were told that it was a German tradition my dad brought from his family. When I became an adult I found out that dad went out Christmas Eve to get the tree because he could get a cheaper price that way. My mother finally convinced my dad to loosen up his wallet a bit and let us get our tree earlier in the season so we could enjoy it longer.

The anticipation of Christmas morning was almost more than we would handle as kids. The days leading up to Christmas were filled with excitement, wonder, and childhood joy. Christmas morning began at 6am but we were always awake well before then. We would try every year to get Mom and Dad to get up earlier, but they always banished us from their room until the appointed time.  Dad would gather us all around the tree and he would pass out the gifts one at a time to each child. We would excitedly watch one another open our gifts with as much glee as when we opened our own.  The gift exchange was followed by breakfast and then going outside to play with our new toys (it was California Christmas weather), while Mom began preparing our lavish Christmas dinner. Even after all of us “kids” were married with our own families, we continued to gather at Mom and Dad’s house to celebrate  Christmas and enjoy a delicious Christmas dinner with the family.

Our holidays are much different these days. Both Mom and Dad are gone now and our own families have spread across California making it difficult to spend the holiday together.  I look forward to the time when I will have married  children and grandchildren coming home for the holiday and reliving our family traditions.

As I reflect on the years I returned home for Christmas, I praise God that Jesus did just the opposite.  God the Father sent his son, Jesus, from the only home he had known in heaven to live on earth. He spent 9 months in the womb of a unwed teenage mother. He was not born in his parents’ hometown of Nazareth but Bethlehem to fulfill God’s promise.  And his actual birth occurred not in a home but in a stable. Not the place one would expect to find a king. Thus began a life of homelessness for the Promised One.

Jesus left his home in order to bring us back home to our Heavenly Father who awaits our arrival. Jesus is there now preparing our home for us and when it is ready, He is coming back for us to bring us home. (John 14)

The miracle of the incarnation made possible the miracle of salvation. We marvel at how God, the creator of the  universe, could become man. Yet we should also marvel at how God could love us so much that He would leave His heavenly throne to become like us. The miracle of Christmas is not just that “the word became flesh and dwelt among us” but that God chose to love us at all. Because of Christmas and because of Easter, I now have a new home waiting for me in Heaven where much of my family now resides.  I’m sad that I won’t be able to be with my extended family this year. However, I have great joy and confidence knowing that one day I will be home for the holidays; home with my King whose birth we celebrate.

A Season of Waiting

Winter is a season when the whole earth is in a waiting period. The grapes have been harvested and the vines are bare. The almond trees are void of leaves and buds. The summer wheat has been baled and stored in the barns. It is as if the world is asleep waiting to be awakened in spring.

Winter is a time of waiting for us as well. Children await the arrival of Christmas day and the promise of gifts galore. Adults anticipate time with family and friends, warmed by the joy of Christmas.

Waiting is something we do not do well in the 21st century. We are used to getting what we want as soon as we want it. We can get in touch with people instantly through email, cell phone, and text messaging. We feel that by waiting we are wasting time and being unproductive.

God is in the waiting business. His waiting is an active waiting not passive. The earth externally appears to be dormant, but internally it is being revitalized and reborn. Like His creation in winter which patiently, eagerly waits for the warmth and new life of spring, we wait for God to do His work in us. But this waiting takes patience.The word patience comes from the Latin verb patior which means “to suffer.” Waiting often feels like suffering to us, but it means to suffer through the present moment, in order to experience the joy and fulfillment of the future.

Winter is the perfect time for Advent, a time of waiting in expectation of the celebration of the birth of Jesus the Messiah. With awe and wonder we wait for His arrival with great longing. We marvel at the mystery of the incarnation; God becoming man in a baby. The miracle of the incarnation made possible the miracle of salvation.

Yet we should also marvel at how God could love us so much that He would leave His heavenly throne to become like us. The miracle of Christmas is not just that “the word became flesh and dwelt among us” but that God chose to love us at all. The ancient scholar Irenaeus wrote, “The word of God, Jesus Christ, on account of his great love for mankind, became what we are in order to make us what he is himself.”

Advent is also a time to reflect on the promise of Jesus’ second coming as well. Hebrews says Jesus “will appear a second time…to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.” This waiting actively anticipates the return of Christ. As believers we are to wait with expectation. Just as our children wait for the good gifts their parents give them, we eagerly await the good gifts God has for us at His return. While we wait we are to be busy preparing the fertile soil of our hearts for His return. We are to be sowing seeds of the Gospel message in the hearts of others. We are to be busy in our waiting.

God beckons us to a place of stillness, quiet, and reflection during the Christmas season, for it is in the stillness that we most clearly see His presence and hear His voice. May you experience the intimate, amazing love and overwhelming grace of our Heavenly Father through the celebration of the birth of his Son, Jesus, this Advent season.

The Call of God

I was privileged to spend several days this summer with Danny and Philippa Brooks, missionaries to Palawan Philippines.  We had a wonderful time with them and their daughter Izzy. Our trip to see their village and meet the tribal people who they minister to was enlightening. They love their life and the people in their village. It is a hard life but a blessed life, one that they enjoy because they answered the call of God and are at home in His Will.

I realized after that visit that I was definitely not called to be a missionary in the jungle of the Philippines. However, as I contemplated Danny and Philippia’s call, I was reminded of God’s call on the life of Abraham.

In Genesis 12 God calls Abraham (then called Abram) to leave his comfortable home in Ur to travel to a new country and a new culture, inhabited with new people. Abraham was  75 years old when God first called him. He was definitely AARP age already, and yet that did not deter him from answering the call.

“Now the LORD said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you. And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you and make your name great, so that you will be a blessing…and in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”

God speaks directly to Abraham and tells him (as the King James Version says) to “Get Out” of his  country and be a blessing to others. This is the first instance of God’s call on Abraham’s life. This call will come back to Abraham twelve times in the book of Genesis in various forms and at various times.  The interesting part is that God called Abraham to leave his country and as the book of Hebrews says, “he went out, not knowing where he was going.”(Hebrews 11:8)

Every believer in Jesus Christ has heard the call of God. It is a call initially to come to Jesus, to become one of God’s chosen daughters and sons. Then, just as with Abraham, God will repeat that call in another way and at another time with more instructions. Sometimes those instructions are more detailed but they are  always the same as Abraham’s.

What does it mean to answer the call of God? It means to get out not knowing where you are going. It means to realize that God blesses you so that you can be a blessing. A true Believer who follows God’s call will be changed. They will make decisions in their life, not based on what blesses them, but based on where you can most be a blessing. If you seek to be blessed you will be empty, but if you seek to bless others then God will bless you. The call of God reshapes you. If you live to fill others up then God will fill you up. How can we be a blessing? Being a blessing means Get Out: out of your house, out of your neighborhood, out of your church, out of your community, out of your country; and be a blessing by serving others.

My life has been defined by the call of God. When I was twelve years old, I sat at the graveside of my twin brother who entered eternity after three short years on earth. I wept and asked God why, why did he take my brother from me. God clearly spoke to me and said, “Sandy, you are asking the wrong question. It is not why I took your brother, but why I left you.” That call began my journey of seeking out God and His purpose for my life. At the age of 18, I heard another call from Him that said, “I want you in full-time Christian service for me.”  This was the beginning of my quest to “Get Out” of my town, my home, and leaving family, to pursue God’s plan for me, “not knowing where I was going.”

What does it take to answer that call of God?  It takes faith and obedience, two things that   defined Abraham’s life. At the very beginning of his life with God, God says to Abraham, “Go from your country and your people.” Abraham said, “Where”? God said “I will show you later, just go.” Later in his life, God will say to Abraham, “I am going to give you a son.”  Abraham replies, “How?” God says, “I will show you later, just trust”. And finally God says to Abraham, “Go to the top of the mountain and put your son to death”, and Abraham says “Why? And God says “I will show you later, just climb”.

This is the Christian life: Go, Trust, Climb. How could Abraham do this? Because as the writer of Hebrews says, “he was looking forward to the city that has foundations, whose designer and builder is God.” The call of God reshapes you, defines you, and relocates your citizenship. No longer are we citizens of this world, but “we are citizens of Heaven; our outlook goes beyond this world to the hopeful expectation of the Savior who will come from Heaven, the Lord Jesus Christ.” God is calling you to get out; to go, trust, and climb on your journey to a new city where He waits for you.  Are you listening? He’s calling……

 

 

Dear Pat Robertson

This week the Evangelical World was abuzz over the comments of Pat Robertson on his show “The 700 Club”.  A viewer called in to ask a question about his friend whose wife is suffering from Alzheimer’s.

“His wife as he knows her is gone,” the caller said, and the friend is “bitter at God for allowing his wife to be in that condition, and now he’s started seeing another woman.”

“This is a terribly hard thing,” Mr. Robertson said, clearly struggling to think his way through a wrenching situation. “I hate Alzheimer’s. It is one of the most awful things, because here’s the loved one — this is the woman or man that you have loved for 20, 30, 40 years, and suddenly that person is gone “

“I know it sounds cruel,” he continued, “but if he’s going to do something, he should divorce her and start all over again, but to make sure she has custodial care, somebody looking after her.”

Robertson’s comment has set the evangelical blogosphere afire with comments and criticisms. While I cannot do this topic justice as Russell Moore has on his blog,  or Joni Erickson Tada on her web site, I can add my own experience with this situation; or rather my mother’s.

My dad was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s when he was in his early 60′s. He lived almost 20 years with the disease. His Alzheimer’s did not progress as rapidly as some. In fact when first diagnosed we wondered if Mom was not imagining his symptoms. But time proved her correct and her early detection allowed Dad to get on some medication that seemed to slow the effects of the disease. Still is was a difficult life for Mom, one she did not chose nor would she wish on anyone else.  She nursed her mentally handicapped younger sister until that sister’s death of cancer. Then she took care of Dad until a brain tumor took her from us suddenly in 2004. I think God decided to spare my mom more years of care-taking by taking her home. It would be my sister-law Kathy and my brother Bob who would take care of Dad the last few years of his life. (if I was Catholic I would recommend Kathy for sainthood)

I think what makes my mom’s situation all the more unique is that Mom chose to remarry Dad after being divorced for 15 years; a divorce that she did not want but he did due to his infidelity with another woman. She forgave him and choose to marry him again years later, for better or worse, till death do us part. 

So I have not only the example of Jesus Christ in the Bible of what love and commitment looks like; I had a real life example in Bettie Jane Reeves Hoke  as to what love and commitment looks like.

So Mr. Robertson though your choice may be easy more palatable  one, it is not the one I will make; it is not the one I wish my husband to make; it is not the one my mother made; and it is not the one my Lord made when He decided to give his life for me his bride and stick with me for better or for worse; till death unites us at His throne.

The Backyard Battle or Woman VS Weed

Memorial Day weekend is the “unofficial” start of summer with families heading  to the beach or backyard barbecues. This past  Memorial Day I ventured into    uncharted territory; the backyard weeds. I gathered my weapons, put on my fighting gloves, and headed out to do battle with the dreaded Spiny Sow Thistle that had taken my backyard captive. This weed often disguises itself as an innocent looking dandelion with its dainty yellow flowers. But don’t be fooled! This innocuous looking weed attacks with its spines causing welts and  severe rashes. This nasty plant is hard to get rid of and the only sure way to annihilate this enemy is to dig deep in the soil and dig out the root of this pesky plant. As I was battling this enemy I was reminded of another enemy I must battle on a daily basis which is also hard to root out; bitterness. This enemy is so sneaky that it often resides in us without our knowing. It easily takes root in our lives when we do not deal with our anger and when we have an unforgiving heart.

 Years ago I had a conflict with a friend  which deeply hurt and wounded me. The issue was resolved to the best of my ability and I forgave this person or so I thought. Throughout the years whenever I thought of this person or their name was brought up I would secretly wish they were having a miserable life. I told myself it was only fair and just that they should suffer as I had suffered. The incident that led to my anger would replay in my mind like a video movie looped to play the same scene over and over. Bitterness had taken root in my heart.

 Bitterness often disguises itself. I was convinced that I had forgiven this person. What I felt was not  unforgivness or bitterness, but  disappointment. I did not want revenge but justice. Just as the Spiny Thistle in my backyard can look like a charming flower, so bitterness can camouflage itself as something less poisonous.

 Ephesians 4 tells us to “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you,” lest we give the devil a foothold in our lives. And Hebrews 12:14-15 says “Work at living in peace with everyone, and work at living a holy life… Let no one become like a bitter plant that grows up and causes many troubles with its poison.” Bitterness is our heart will poison our life and spread to others too as we retell the tale. Soon the devil not only has his foot in the door, but all of him and his evil schemes.

Bitterness is the replaying of a grievance in your mind, not being able to let go of the offence. We secretly hope for someone’s harm or distress. We wish they would get knocked off their “high horse.” When you are bitter towards someone there is a sense of superiority. “I would never do that.” And so we begin to pass judgment on the person. We bring it up to others in the form of a prayer request. “Pray for brother so and so, he has a terrible temper.” Or” pray for me, I am struggling with unforgiveness. Let me tell you what   happened.” We also bring it up to ourselves as well; replaying that video again and again. We tell ourselves that we will forgive but not forget. I forgive but have not forgotten means I have judged you but not acted as executioner. We withdraw warmth from that person holding them liable for the sin. But an unforgiving heart is an unforgiven heart, and until we can let go of the offense, we have not truly forgiven nor are we behaving like a forgiven, redeemed individual.

You cannot control your feelings but you can control your thoughts. You can make a decision not to replay those tapes. You make that decision when you say I am going to grant  forgiveness before I feel it. And you decide to not seek repayment and determine to absorb the debt. When God says He remembers our sins no more he does not actually forget our sins. He is all knowing. What God means is that he will no longer hold us liable for those sins because the debt has been paid. Jesus absorbed the debt. We can absorb the debts others place on us because Jesus paid for our debts in full. When we realize the great debt we owe to God and the grace he has freely, lovingly bestowed on us, how can we not extend that same grace to others?

So how do we get rid of bitterness? Determine to absorb that debt and give it over to the Lord. Work at living in peace with everyone. Return evil with a blessing  (1 Peter 3:9) that you may inherit a blessing. Pray and wish their good.

 Thanks to my diligence and hard work the Spiny Sow Thistle no longer holds my back yard captive. And thanks to convicting power of God’s Word and the sword of the Spirit, bitterness no longer holds my heart captive.  ^“Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions. No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm. Instead, bless—that’s your job, to bless. You’ll be a blessing and also get a blessing.”  1 Peter 3:8-12 (The Message)